Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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