I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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