So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
