If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
