Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
