If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I have already put on my inside pants.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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