why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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