Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I want to be your penis for a week.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
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