I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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