if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
