I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
