So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
