marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
