You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
