Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize