They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
