I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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