My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
