There was a lot of him and a little penis
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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