My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
