Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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