so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
