Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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