just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
40s are totally the cure
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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