I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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