I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize