thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You work out of a Hotel?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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