Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
