erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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