I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize