yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
