she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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