You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Maybe he injected his testicle?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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