So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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