dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize