I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
