I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
