When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize