apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
