Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
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If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
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She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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