I think i peed on brittanys purse
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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