i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Randomize
