The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
