Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
