so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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