Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
