it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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