Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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