I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
