Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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