the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
