just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
