My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Houston, we have a squirter
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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