NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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