): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
