so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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