So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
