Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
