it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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