so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
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I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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