Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
