Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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