Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
