You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
