he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
