Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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