I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
